


Lonely

by KrastBannert



Series: The Good, the Bad, and the Life in Between [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Brother-Sister Relationships, Episode: s03e05 The Beach, Fluff and Angst, Insomnia, Mental Health Issues (implied/mentioned), POV Azula (Avatar), Sort Of, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Zuko (Avatar) is a Good Brother, that's all really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25435039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrastBannert/pseuds/KrastBannert
Summary: At one point, the world had been simpler. There were no Avatars for them to chase or wars for them to fight. There was no competing for parents' attention or for the throne. There was no difference of morals. They were happier. They were kids, just a brother and a sister.Now, years later, they're still kids, and she feels alone. She doesn't want to.A stolen moment between Zuko and Azula. Takes place after Season 3 Episode 5: 'The Beach'.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: The Good, the Bad, and the Life in Between [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858354
Comments: 4
Kudos: 145





	Lonely

_“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” – Mother Teresa_

-[-]-

It’s late when her knuckles rap, featherlight, on his door.

She doesn’t expect an answer. Not really. He’s still awake – the flickering candlelight from underneath the door is a testament to that. No, she doesn’t expect an answer because Mai and Ty Lee had fallen asleep on the couch, and Zuko – contrary to all of her past insults – isn’t _completely_ stupid. He’ll know it’s her.

And by most standards, Azula had never been a very good sister.

She’d mocked him, embarrassed him, chased him, yelled at him, lied to him, manipulated him, burned him. Her brother couldn’t have been more different: he’d been _nothing_ but kind to her. He’d supported her, he’d been her outlet, he’d comforted and entertained and helped her. He’d _protected_ her. He’d been everything an older brother should be.

Or, well, he _tried_ to be.

She had allowed it, at first. For a time, when they were younger and when the world was far smaller and far simpler, _he_ was her go-to. They were sidekicks and partners-in-crime. He had been her best friend. But then…something changed, and she didn’t realize what she it until it was too late. She’d thought him weak for _so long_.

Then, one night early in his banishment, when she’d been alone in her room, trying to resist crying because father burned her again, she’d finally felt something missing. Something that had always been there without her even noticing it. She’d driven away everyone who cared about her. She’d trimmed away the last vestiges of weakness and vulnerability. That was what she’d thought, anyways.

She’s lost in thought and about to turn away when the door clicks open and she almost jumps out of her own skin as Zuko’s scarred face appears in the doorway.

“Azula?” he whispers, eyes squinting.” What…what are you doing here?”

The question stabbed straight through her stony walls and into her heart. She ignores it for now, sets aside the feeling to analyze and purge later. She takes a deep breath, lets it out in a huff, and tries to put on her usual air of confidence. By the look on his face, he sees right through the attempt.” Can I…can I come in?”

He meets her eyes, molten gold eyes flashing in a mirror of her own, and he studies her. After a moment he nods. The door clicks shut behind her, and she can’t help but think that the room suits him – blankets littering the floor, scrolls heaped upon a table, dao leaning against a wall.

Azula douses the candle, throwing the room into darkness, and moonlight spills into the room through the window. Zuko raises an eyebrow, but says nothing as he sits, only reaches up to give her hand a gentle tug. Something gentle, a warm and soft flutter, digs into her stomach, and it’s uncomfortable and weak and infuriating and she’s only _just_ willing to admit to herself that it’s the best thing she’s felt in years.

His hand flinches away after a moment, as if touching her physically pains him, but she grabs onto it, squeezes hard, refuses to let go.

Zuko’s eyes widen and his hand stiffens, but he allows Azula’s fingers to wrap around his and he gives her hand a squeeze. She settles down next to him, and they’re quiet for several minutes. He doesn’t make her saying anything, and though she’ll never tell him, she’s incredibly grateful. His thumb works a small, gentle circle into the back of her hand, and slowly, she feels the tension leave her body. She feels her shoulders drop, her muscles unclench, and she manages to take a deep breath.

She doesn’t know how long they sit there. It could have been five minutes or five hours, but after a while, she feels Zuko gingerly put his unused arm around her shoulders. She stiffens – they both do, both of them uncomfortable and unfamiliar after such a long time – but the feeling is… _good_. The weight somehow both annoys _and_ comforts her.

Azula’s body moves on its own, curling against Zuko’s side, her head drooping against him. His shoulder is bony and it pokes her, but she feels that infuriating warmth again and it’s like a small weight has been taken from her. Zuko drops her hand and gingerly rests his on her waist. Her eyelids flutter as she fiddles with an invisible thread.

She yawns, lets her head rest against his chest, tucked underneath his chin.

“Tired,” Azula hears herself mutter. Zuko lets out a quiet chuckle, and Azula wants to slap him, but she doesn’t have the energy. He’s warm and somehow she feels safer than she has in _years_ , and she finally relents. She’s worked hard in the past six months; if anyone has earned an indulgent night, she figures, it’s her.

And if, as she drifts off, she doesn’t feel quite so alone, well…that’s just a bonus.

**Author's Note:**

> Right well I am REALLY not sure about this one. Azula is kinda OOC, I know - I just couldn't quite get her down to my satisfaction. At this point, though, I've re-written this like 3 or 4 times and I just need to get it out in the world. Zuko is probably somewhat OOC, too, but I don't think he'd ever be able to not help his little sister. Credit goes to this [fanart](https://www.deviantart.com/beanaroony/art/If-Things-Had-Been-Different-337128656) by beanaroony on Deviantart for being an inspiration while writing this.
> 
> I may also need an intervention. I can't stop writing in present tense. I don't know why. It just feels so interesting to write and read versus past tense and I can't stop.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments!


End file.
